


Shattering Revelations

by VioletThePorama



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Also Steven Universe the Movie, Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Inspired by Volleyball, It isn't really healthy though, My take on Pink Diamond as a character, Relationship tags are a mess sorry, Steven Universe the Future spoilers, Steven Universe the Movie spoilers, This diamond family is really messed up, Vaguely follows canon to my knowledge, Violence is mentioned but it isn't in detail, You could ship Pink Diamond with either if the pearls if you wanted, greg is mentioned, no happy ending, pre-steven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21750682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletThePorama/pseuds/VioletThePorama
Summary: Everybody saw her in a different light. Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz, violent and gentle, mature and immature. What was the truth behind it? Was she malicious? Or was she simply naive?There may not be an answer to any of these questions yet. There may not ever be. But there will always be the mark of somebody great and horrible marring the faces of both Earth and Homeworld.
Relationships: Blue Diamond & Pink Diamond & Yellow Diamond (Steven Universe), Pearl & Pink Diamond (Steven Universe), Pink Diamond & Spinel (Steven Universe), Rose Quartz | Pink Diamond & White Diamond's Pearl, Rose Quartz/Greg Universe
Kudos: 20





	Shattering Revelations

When Pink Diamond was made, she was awake and aware, but she had no idea what she was meant for. As she stepped out of the hole in the wall, the tall gems outside regarded her with curious and excited looks, and Pink caught snatches of their whispers as she looked around with wide eyed curiosity. 

_ “Small-” _ and  _ “So Pink-” _ and  _ “-new.” _

Pink Diamond turned to her admirers and smiled. The blue one stepped forward, crouching down to be on her level. 

“-I just want to check, Yellow… Hello, small one. Do you know where you are?” She asked, and Pink shrugged and shook her head. There was a short pause as the blue one looked back to the others, who surged forward in the crowded room. 

“This one has a sense of humor!” The yellow gem laughed as she looked at Pink. “All gems know who they are and what they are meant for. You know that, Blue. She’s just-”

“Sorry,” Pink interrupted, staring up at them. “I don't know where I am, but I know that I’m Pink!”

Another pause, and this time there was no laughing. The blue gem picked her up and looked at her gem, and Pink let out a surprised whoop and held onto her hand. 

Behind her, still in the doorway, she spotted a slight frown on the white gems face. Then the white gem turned, giant and imposing, and her pretty scarf wooshed in the air as she faced the fall and began walking. The yellow gem pursued her, and Pink caught the word  _ “Imperfect” _ float down the hall. 

In front of her, the blue gem sat down and wiped at her face with her free hand. Then, she started explaining. 

______________________________________

For a long time, the other Diamonds left her in a garden, with a cute,  _ perfect _ little Spinel to keep her company. For a long time, it was just them, with the others only checking in with holograms and messages to say a few clipped words to her before they left to whisper in hushed, worried voices again. 

“I want to be important, like them,” Pink Diamond confided to her bestest friend. Spinel scratched her head and made a scrunched up face that made Pink laugh. Then Spinel grinned at her.

“You should make them  _ like _ you!” She declared.

So Pink tried. She kept up with what they said over the messages, and practiced her answers and knowledge with Blue. Before long, Pink was taken from the garden to live with the other Diamonds, where she could better learn how to be one of them.

It wasn’t as fun. None of the other Diamonds  _ got _ her like Spinel did, and she stormed the halls, yelling back and forth with Yellow as the older Diamond cornered her against walls and doorways. Pink screamed to make her back off, breaking the floor and walls and she skittered away from the angry, exasperated look Yellow came her before she was chased again. 

White was never around, and Yellow wasn’t nearly as fond of her as Blue was, but Pink could get them to play  _ fun _ things with her sometimes, when between the shouts and destruction and sobs in the  _ not _ fun games they played.

In the little moments when it was really fun, and when they all liked each other, Pink stopped breaking walls and yelling long enough to smile, laugh, and juggle for them, winning back any favor she had lost in their fights. 

They loved it when she was nice, when Pink pushed down the angry little thread that pulled at every action, and when she danced around with the gems in their courts.

Choosing the wrong gem to dance with was a mistake, of course, and she had to be very careful. White would get mad, and White didn’t back off as easily as the others. Screams and tears didn’t stop her condescending coos of “ _ Starlight~” _ .

So Pink played nice, or she tried to. She was every bit as good and important as the rest of them, so she scrambled for respect, earning back their adoration between the times she baited Yellow into distraction, or tried to keep from crying when she got Blue mad. They could ignore her mistakes as long as she gave them a grin and a sweet little apology afterwards. 

Playing with them was similar to playing with Spinel. Nice and energetic was the way to go, but it was more difficult. The other Diamonds were nothing like Spinel, who would help her be herself without any screams or tears or coos. Spinel did whatever Pink wanted, whenever she wanted. She always had, and she always would, like the excellent friend she was. 

______________________________________

Soon, Pink began to want a Pearl, one like Blue and Yellow toted around. The gems looked pretty and cute, and Pink wanted one of her very own, so she practiced her manners with Spinel and talked about what she would do when she got one. 

Eventually, she managed to charm her way into getting a pretty pink Pearl, just like she had wanted! Pearl was happy to be toted around by Pink, and asked sweet little questions.

“What will you call this batch, Pink?” Pearl asked her as they walked to meet with Blue. 

“Fools Gold,” Pink said, and grinned, delighted that her joke landed. She repeated the same one to her fellow Diamond when asked to name them, and Blue laughed so hard she cried! 

Her sweet Pearl cuddled close with Pink when they were alone, and when the small gem murmured to her, the shattered and jagged thoughts would smooth, and the suffocating anger would bubble out of Pink as she smiled and murmured back.

______________________________________

“ **Why can’t I have a colony** ?” Pink screamed at Yellow, and the gem gave her a tired look. “ **I have a Pearl** !  **I can take care of it** !”

“Because you’re too  _ immature _ ,” Yellow brushed off, and Pink punched a wall. Blue told her the same, and Pink screamed at her between sobs and thick, globby tears. She didn’t even bother asking White, who would only respond with sickly sweet words that  _ maybe she could have had one if she hadn’t thrown all those tantrums _ .

“I’m  **not** !” Pink yelled when she was back in her room, and her Pearl nodded in agreement, skittering around after her and ducking away whenever Pink lunged at a wall. The Pebbles fixed them up whenever she did, so Pink could hit them again and again, until her Pearl eventually called her away and into a game with a nervous little titter to her voice. 

“Why don’t you show me how to juggle?” Pearl asked shyly, and stepped back when Pink rounded on her before going back to punching walls. Eventually, Pink gave up her destruction and tried to, but Pearl was an awful learner. 

“Weren’t you going to visit Spinel soon?” Came the weak question another time, and Pink shrugged her off. Spinel could wait. 

“I’ve been practicing with my ribbons,” Her sweet little Pearl murmured weakly, and Pink scowled and turned to watch her.

With every question, Pink would eventually respond, and smooth out her thoughts as she rejoined Pearl, laughing and smiling again. Sweet as sugar.

______________________________________

It was nothing spectacular when she hurt Pearl. It was just a run-of-the-mill tantrum where she yelled at Yellow, and her Pearl got a bit too close. 

Pink stalked up to her fellow Diamond, and an ugly scowl took over Yellow’s face as Pink squeezed her hands into fists, ready to turn and punch something at a moments notice-

_ But what she punched wasn’t a wall. It wasn’t a door. It wasn’t even Yellow.  _

_ It. was. her.  _ **_Pearl_ ** _. _

She hadn’t meant to!

She sobbed on tears that weren’t caused by Blue, for once, and despite her best efforts, couldn’t muster up her sweet, practiced smile when White cooed at her. White could fix things, sure. 

But she wasn’t  _ going _ to. 

“ _ Don’t shatter her _ ,” Pink gasped, breath hitching when White picked up the tiny little pink Pearl’s fixed but still  _ hurt _ gem. “ **_Please_ ** .”

“But  _ Starlight _ ,” White tutted as Pearl reformed and became white. “She’s useless like this. If you wanted to keep playing with her, you shouldn’t have  _ broken _ her.”

“ **I’m sorry** !” Pink sobbed, and White didn’t answer. Instead, Pink was sent to one of the many empty rooms around White’s castle, all dark and empty. For the first time, the walls stayed intact, and Pink stayed curled up in the center of it. 

When Yellow came to check on her, with the news that her Pearl hadn’t been shattered despite her mistake, Pink smiled all sweet for her and rubbed her face of any remaining tears. She followed Yellow back to her real room. Little Pebbles raced around it, ready to repair things at a moments notice. 

Nothing was broken, though. They swarmed her when she didn’t lunge at any walls, asking if she was okay. 

She was very careful after that, and she played on her best behavior. Dances only happened when she was sure that the gem was appropriate to be seen with, and she followed Yellow and Blue around, quiet and submissive as they taught her everything she needed to know. 

The Pearl incident wasn’t brought up again, except by White, who teased and prodded at her about it, puppeteering the little white Pearl with a crack in her face around like a mockery of a game Pink once played with Spinel. 

Pink avoided White whenever possible. 

______________________________________

It took a long time for the other Diamonds to do anything about the lack of Pearl at Pink’s side. She brought it up a few times to Yellow and Blue, with hesitant little reminders and questions about if some gems  _ really _ couldn’t be fixed. When they looked like they were going to say something negative about it, she went back to laughing and cartwheeling around to distract them. 

It had been forever since she had last played with Spinel, but getting her Pearl back was more important. She vowed to herself that it would never happen again.

Finally, White called her up for Serious Matters, and Pink approached. She focused a large smile at White, and ignored the sweet little  _ cracked _ Pearl who stood off to the side, in a stiff, horrible pose. 

“You’ve been so good, Starlight,” White sang, and Pink nodded and thanked her, shifting back and forth on her feet. “I think you deserve something special.”

Pink swallowed and looked at the Pearl’s face when she finally approached, hope welling in her stomach. Then it sank. It was still cracked, and her eye was closed. 

Pearl’s face was smiling though, and she looked happy, no matter how fake and wide it was. 

In her hands was a pretty white Pearl, unformed and obviously fresh off of the line. 

“It doesn’t match,” Pink found herself whining as she pushed down the prickly feeling of anger. “I want my old one back.”

“You hurt her,” Came the smooth tone. “And now she is broken. I went through the effort of finding this one just for you. Aren’t you happy?”

“... Yes. Thank you, White.”

“Don’t break this one,” White told her through Pearls mouth, and Pink choked on a sob as she took the new Pearl. Once the gem was cradled in her hands, it lit up with a bright, shining light, and a white Pearl in a pink little dress and a pretty smile bowed and introduced herself. 

With a curt nod, Pink told the new Pearl to follow her, and left White’s domain. She did her best to ignore the way her fists were squeezing at her sides, and how the faithful,  _ new _ Pearl followed a few steps behind her. 

______________________________________

It was hard, trying to be different all the time. Everything was best kept quiet and bottled away. Her new Pearl offered Pink whatever she wanted and waited for orders. Pink smiled and nodded and didn’t talk much to her. The new one was too formal. 

But she could play along, if that was what White wanted from her. 

At least, she  _ tried _ , and she  _ did _ , up until she actually got a colony from it. In the garden, deep in the far reaches of space, and turned to Spinel and smiled. 

“Stay very still,” Pink told her. She knew the other gem would listen.  _ This _ pink little gem wouldn’t be cracked, and Pink could focus her time and attention where it needed to be. On her colony, rather than on her  _ immature _ friend. 

Besides, somebody would look for Spinel eventually. 

Pink was busy busy busy, up until Yellow took some control. Then she was bored, which she voiced to her new Pearl, feeling a flash of regret at being unable to visit Spinel any longer. Any such feelings vanished as soon as her new Pearl answered, taking her to the world that she had been colonizing. 

And they had fun! Suddenly new Pearl was just  _ Pearl _ , and the piercing anger didn’t come on so strong. It was so much  _ easier _ to control herself, just like it was with Spinel, but unlike then, she was  _ mature _ .

______________________________________

Pink grew to love having her Pearl, and as she saw more and more of humanity, she grew to love just Pearl. She grew to love everything. 

When  _ Rose _ thought up the plan, her thoughts weren’t on Blue or Yellow, and they definitely weren’t on White or the little Pearl with the ruined face. They weren’t focused on the forlorn little Spinel off alone in a garden, and they weren’t even entirely on Pearl, who stood next to Rose with a secretive smile. 

Her thoughts were on herself, because she wanted to experience what other  _ people _ did, what animals saw and what humans felt. If she took Pearl and some others with her, they could be free to try that too! And that was  _ good _ .

So Rose lead a rebellion, faked Pink’s shattering, and cast off the lingering edges of anger. She told Pearl not to tell, just as she had told somebody long before not to move, and neither of them did. 

Playing at being human was oh so fun! It no longer felt like she was  _ playing _ at being mature, it just felt like she was doing a good job at it! 

Until she met Greg, and he slowed her down. He was the first human who had told her something so earnestly, and the first one  _ ever _ to tell her that she wasn’t being fair. 

Rose slowed down, but she didn’t know  _ how _ to be fair. 

But she could try. She could  _ pretend _ again. For Steven or Nora or whoever she would become. 

When she decided to have him, it was to make something new. Her thoughts weren’t on the turmoil he would run into for being who he was, because humans didn’t really live long enough for something like that to come up. 

Her thoughts weren’t on her fellow gems, the only ones left from her rebellion. They weren’t on fixing the corrupted gems that covered the Earth. They skimmed right over Pearl, the only one who had known her as something other than Rose, but had never known her as someone angry and destructive, and she wasn’t considering letting the dangerous but  _ sweet _ Bismuth free from the mane of her lion. 

Her thoughts were on the little bump on her belly as she started the careful balance of anatomy of human and gem. They were on the camera, and as she set the tapes in her favorite secret spot, next to the bubbled gem, she wondered if she were any good at all. 

Nothing she had ever done had been good. 

But maybe her child could be. 

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing in this is meant to excuse Pink Diamond in any way. She has done horrible things in her life, I simply wanted to take a look at what I could, and try my hand at writing out her experiences.


End file.
